Funny Bean Story…

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became
> >apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
> >beans.
> >
> > Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
> >from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told
> >him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by
> >a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.
> >
> > With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by
> >the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I
> >had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made
> >sure that I released all the gas.
> >
> > Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed
> >delightedly: “Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight.”
> >
> > He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I
> >took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone
> >rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and
> >went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still
> >affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my
> >husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to
> >one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a
> >fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
> >
> > I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
> >Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was
> >worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the
> >conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few
> >minutes. The pleasure was indescribable.
> >
> > When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom,
> >I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my
> >lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with
> >myself.
> >
> > My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
> >returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
> >through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. At this point, he
> >removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table
> >chorused: “Happy Birthday!”
> >
> > I fainted!