Simply Heidi

Well I am supposed to be finishing up packing. And I wanted to read how my cousin’s missions trip was going. They are in Sierra Leone Africa right now. I am so heartbroken for them right now. The children are starving. You know once you visit another country or grow up in one, your whole world view changes. Everything about you changes. You are NEVER the same, because you have seen what true poverty is or what true starvation is. I would encourage you today to go visit her blog, follow there story while they are there in Africa. And if you were thinking about giving towards our adoption, would you give it to them instead. I am pretty sure you can contact them through her website. Or you can contact me and I will get you there info.

So go read the story….right now!

The Raining Season

Well can you believe that Christmas is over. And can you believe that 2009 is almost here? This year has flown by. This year has been quite the growing year for my family. And more specifically for me. God has showed up many times this year and proved himself BIG to me. Like he needs to prove himself big! I think He does though to remind us who He really is. He is God. He is creator of all. He is the one who gives us the strength we need. He is our provider. What is He to YOU? Anyways, He has showed me what true friendship is and what it isn’t. He has reminded me and helped me to forgive those that have hurt me the deepest this year. To let go. He is good.

I thought this year was going to end with our family of 6 as we dealt with the letting go of our foster daughter. We have been obedient to the Lord this entire process. It has not always been easy, but we have been obedient. As you have read in past posts, that we found another great family. And I just want to be clear, we still think they are great. We really like them. On Christmas Eve though, you know it might have been the day before…my days are all running together. So back to Christmas Eve, they called us and she had been sick and been crying for days. So they thought it would be best if we took her. I took her to the doctor again to just make sure an ear infection had not developed. He said that that she was emotionally shutting down from being taken from our home. She was sick with a sinus infection and tonsil infection, but that should not be causing her to cry. He said she was getting worse from the grief that she was experiencing. He then went on to say that he was not in agreement with someone else adopting her, and that he would write any letter for us so that we could adopt her. He then said we needed to adopt her, because he did not know if she could withstand another transition. Plus she is already small. When I brought her in she was weak. She had not been eating or wanting to drink. So…if you are saying oh my gosh….or wow….yah, that is what I was saying too. We had company coming into town, and then all of this. We had brought Kim, her biological mom, home with us for Christmas. And we had to find another place for her to stay, because it was too much on Krystina and all of us. It was making Krystina worse.

So fast forward a few more days, and we are at today. She is doing really good, eating, drinking, playing, and enjoying life. At this point in time. Me and Tony have sought counsel and prayed. We are going to adopt her. There you go: it is official. We are going to have 5 kids. NEVER in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine that we would have 5 kids. But we do. Every door has been shut, and we feel at this point for her and our sanity this is the right decision.

And that brings me to the need that we have. We need the money to adopt her. $2500 has already been given to us. We need $4000 more. That is a lot of cash. But my God is big. He is faithful. And we feel …no we know that he is going to provide every single penny! We are believing that God will provide it by the end of January. We really want closure. I know that the end of January is only like a month away. But like I just said God is big. I hate asking for things. I really never ask for anything. God has always been so faithful to us. But I am going to ask you today, can you give towards her adoption. We are going to set up a paypal account in her name. Or you can email me, and I will send you our address. Or if you feel more comfortable you can send a check directly to the attorney. Every single penny counts towards the big picture.
We are still doing Advocare, and so every single dollar that we make in that will go towards her adoption. If I sold 100 boxes of Spark, it would be 1000 profit. So maybe you want Spark? Or maybe you want me to share with you about Advocare and there is something else I can get you? I am not afraid to do my part in this adoption as far as working hard. I am just putting ideas out there.

So be checking for the paypal button to the right. And thank you in advance. I know God is going to provide for us and for her. And at the end of all of this we will see how good he has been, and we will be able to give him all the glory for how he has worked and provided. If you have any other questions just email me: heidi@simplyheidi.com

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas! We will be back once, the day is over!

Can you believe it is Christmas Eve tomorrow! WOW, where has the year gone. Another year. We are almost in 2009, that is so strange to me.

We have had more changes come our way. I cant even begin to write about them. All I know, is that God is still God. At the end of the day, that never changes. He is still faithful. He is still my strong tower. My refuge. My shield. The lifter of my head. My Prince of Peace. My provision. My comforter. My joy. And so many more things, you name it and He is that to me. He sees my every morning, my every afternoon, and evening. It is up to me, to see how I will react to every circumstance that comes me way. How will my attitude be. How will my reaction glorify him. If everything is not about HIM, then what am I doing. Does that make any sense at all? Life is hard sometimes. But God is good ALL the time. I know that might sound so cliche to some. But that is the bottom line. No matter what we go through, He is still good. Really good.

I am missing her today. And I am thinking that I really dont like transitions. I can only imagine what is going on through her head! Pray for us.

Well tonight was hard. And then I got pulled over by a police officer on my way home from Christmas shopping. I was driving Tony’s car and his window does not go down, so the officer had me get out…and I started crying…and could not stop. It was so terrible. Then he was asking me what was wrong and I was trying to tell him, so I got him my license, and insurance after looking for them for 5 minutes. He said I could wait inside my car now. I got in and shut the door, and just lost it. COULD not stop crying. He came back, and because he felt so bad for me…I just got a warning. Thank you Jesus. I walked through the door and Tony just held me as I cried for awhile. We miss her. I miss her. Transitions are hard. I feel like I have lost a child. And it is weird because I know that she is in a good place…it is just hard!

So the meeting went well to have the birth mom’s right terminated. It is a done deal. She was able to meet the adoptive parents. I prayed for her. I cried.

Baby is going to just stay at her new home from here on out. The transition is going so smoothly we don’t want to mess it up for, by having her see us right now. I know we will see her in the future. It is really hard for us right now.

We are taking apart her crib tonight. We took the car seat out of our car. We packed the high chair away. I am working on going through her clothes. I am going to donate most of them to a single mom in need.

My heart is very sad. But I know also, that we were obedient to the Lord. If we were meant to keep her it would have been very clear to us. It was not meant for us, we were only to be used for a season. He has taken us on quite the journey. A new chapter begins. It helps knowing that she is being well taken care of and loved. I am so happy that she has siblings similar to the ages of our kids.

I was thinking today about the Lord and what it must have been like for him to let his ONLY son die for us. To let him go. The pain he must have felt. I know she was never mine, but I treated her like she was to make her feel loved, and I gave her my whole heart. And now she is gone so quickly. Anyways, I must get back to cleaning…

Tomorrow morning at 10:30 am the biological mother will sign her rights away. My feelings are of joy for the new adoptive parents, and great heartache for the mom. Even though she is making a good decision for her daughter and her, it is still hard. We will be dropping off the baby this Saturday as she starts her new journey, and then that afternoon we will be picking up the biological mom for her 10 day break. She will spend Christmas with us. Her first Christmas without her daughter. Can you imagine the emotions flying around this house? God’s timing has been perfect though. His peace has been overflowing. His love has been tremendous. He has stretched me and my husband to the max this year. What a better time to love on the biological mom during this season, when we are supposed to be giving. To love her as Christ loves her. To love her past all her “stuff”….to just simply love. I think we get so caught up in the stuff of the season, that we forget what it is really all about.

So let me encourage you today, to find someone that needs love and give of yourself. It can be anything, it does not have to be as big as taking on someone. Give someone a nice compliment, SMILE at someone, give someone a hug, pay for someone’s meal, provide a meal for someone, anything, but do something!

You can never out give God.

Things are going so well with this family that we are doing the final drop off on the 20th. That is one week. Can I tell you there has been so much peace in this transition…I am blown away. I really am. On both sides. It is such a God thing. There is no drama. I was so sick of the drama. I feel blessed, that the Lord gives peace that really does pass our understanding. God is good. ALL THE TIME! It is all in how you look at it.