Simply Heidi

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer- Cleveland, OH

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

As of yesterday no surgery is scheduled. He is in a cast…bright green and hot pink!!!! Very interesting to say the least! He will be in this cast for 2 weeks and then we will see how his growth plate is healing and then it will be determined what the next step is…either a surgery will be scheduled at that point or another cast or a walking boot for 6 weeks. So only time will tell. We have him on some AdvoCare products to help him recover faster!

Today we are cleaning. And I have a meeting tonight with AdvoCare!

We took off last week for Branson, Mo. FOR a much needed get away. We had a great time with family. We actually for another reason,we thought my little sister was going to deliver her baby, which did not happen while we were there, BUT did happen last night. Baby Jack was born around 11ish. And I can’t wait to meet him! He has a head full of black curly hair!

We did lots of fun stuff while in Branson. Like the Magic Show and we even got back stage passes to see the BIG cats that they use in the show. That was pretty cool.

We went to Silver Dollar City

We swam

We relaxed

I attended a service with the speaker Christine Caine from Hillsong. Which was Amazing. I will have to post a whole other post on that. It really touched me and really what I needed to hear.

Then right before we left, my oldest took the golf cart out to pick up something from our cabin and lost control and hit a light pole. Pretty bruised up, a fractured foot that might require surgery, and a deeply gashed leg. It was God’s grace he did not have head injuries. So we spent Sunday afternoon in the hospital and then got home to see our doctor. And we see the Ortho Surgeon today.

Next week my in laws come to watch our children while me and my husband attend Success School with our business. Which I am so pumped about. I can hardly wait. We have a great team of people going with us. We feel blessed.

Selah will be releasing a new CD soon. There is a song on there that has really meant a lot to me.

Unredeemed

The cruelest words

The coldest heart

The deepest wounds

The endless dark

The lonely ache

The burning tears

The bitter night

The wasted years

Life breaks and falls apart

But we know these are…

Places

Where grace is

Soon to be so amazing

They may unfulfilled

They may unrestored

But when anything that’s shattered

Is laid before the Lord

Just watch and see

It will not be

Unredeemed

For every choice

That led to shame

And all the love

That never came

For every vow

That someone broke

And every life

That gave up hope

We live in the shadow of the fall

But the cross says these are all – just

Places

Where grace is

Soon to be so amazing

They may unfulfilled

They may unrestored

But when anything that’s shattered

Is laid before the Lord

Just watch and see

It will not be

Unredeemed

They may unfulfilled

They may unrestored

You never know the miracles

The father has in store

Just watch and see

It will not be

Unredeemed

***

All I can say is I miss my sweet Krystina. It is a void that only the Lord can fill at this point. I really really missed praying with her tonight. That was such a sweet time with her and kaitlyn. They said the most sincere prayers…that were precious beyond words. So that is where I am at tonight….missing her. But I am excited because we do get to speak with her tomorrow. And we will find out how Kim is adjusting to being a mom. I will be sure to find out specific prayer requests for them, and I want us all to lift them both up in prayer.

Tonight I painted. That is what I do when I stress…paint. Before we took Krystina and Kim in we were in the process of remodeling our home. We put most of that on hold in order to really give the attention to Krystina and Kim. Now that they are gone. I am in a painting mode. So I painted the living room tonight Olive Tree. It is pretty. Next week sometime we are going to start on Kaitlyn’s room. I have been wanting to make it shabby chic, but had not the time. I did have it some what chabby chic when the girls were down stairs, but a few months ago we moved all the kids back upstairs. And turned the downstairs room back into a much needed office. There room upstairs was just blah and nothing to it. So I am pulling my thoughts together on it, and I have a friend who paints and she is going to help paint some extra’s in the room. I am very grateful. When I was talking with Kaitlyn about it, she kept saying Krystina will like this so much. It made my heart so heavy.

I am wondering how she is doing tonight. I wish I could say a prayer with her, and kiss her sweet head. And I really miss when she walks down the stairs in the morning, she would yell very loudly “GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY!!!” She had such excitement about her. The Lord is so faithful though through all of this. He truly is our peace in the storm.

You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

Lord,
My mind is steadfast on you Jesus and I have complete trust in you! I ask you to continue to use us in ways that we did not expect to be used. Keep our hearts always open. Show us every step we are to take. Let us never step outside of your will. Be my encourager today Jesus. Help me to encourage others. Lord I ask that as people read this blog and they see the things that we have gone through and the things we will go through, that it would be a testimony to your grace, mercy and love. Jesus I love you more than words can describe!!!

Tonight we went to our favorite mexican place for dinner and I lost it when we sat down with our food. It was just so weird to not have Krystina with us. It was one less spot to fill, one less high chair, one less plate of food to order. One less little voice talking. It was hard. I could not finish my food. This new normal is tough. It stinks. I know that this is what the Lord has chosen, but it is still hard…very hard.

Learning to be still and hear from him.

Well, It has been a long few weeks. We have kept most stuff under wraps for the sake of my sanity!

We started our adoption of Krystina after the last family had to pull there name out due to her becoming so ill. And the dr. recommended to us to adopt her our-self. He did not feel she could handle it. And many other professionals recommended the same thing. We never went into this to adopt ourselves. We went into this whole ordeal to serve a mom and a child. It has been a journey. We did fall in love with her. I love her like my own daughter. My husband loves her like his daughter. She will forever have a piece of my heart. We started the adoption in Feb. of this year. Everything fell into place. Still had contact with birth mom. She was doing really well in her program. We were so proud of her and still are. About 3 weeks ago she decided that she really wanted to raise Krystina. She wanted a second chance. She felt really ready to be her mom. We were SHOCKED! Here is the deal though, I would never take that chance away from someone who has worked as hard as Kim has to get better. She really has. I want to honor her in that. We have said from the beginning this is not about us, but about these 2 people that the Lord allowed us to help, to bless, encourage….we REALLY just wanted to be open vessels that the Lord could use. And he has used us. He has grown us. Stretched us. We have lost extremely close friends through all this, and we have gained new ones. I have learnt so much about myself, my family, kids, life, but mostly the love of the Lord. What it means to love unconditionally. To love how the Lord loves us. To love with no stipulations. Just love.

Fast forward with me a week, we brought Kim to our home to see how Krystina would do around her. Remember she has not been with her for over a year. And during that year she has seen her like 3 times and Krystina would just scream. NOT this time. She loved Kim. Could not get enough of her. That was confirmation enough for us that the Lord was doing something. At times during all of this, I have asked, why do I have to go through such great loss? Why use us in this way? Why allow this to happen now? I never received some really great answer from the Lord but to just wait upon him. And we have. We have prayed, cried, laughed, probably experienced every emotion possible.

Fast forward another week. And we brought Kim home again because Krystina was sick and calling out for Kim. She had never done that. EVER! When she saw Kim, she lit up so big. Kim stayed with us from that point on. A door opened for her to go to a family Teen Challenge center and rebond with her daughter and continue to learn how to be a mom. We knew she could not stay here, since that would have been so confusing to Krystina. She was calling me mommmy and kim mommy. We asked the Lord to open a door and he did….I just thought I would have more time. I had a week to really prepare. It was the LONGEST week of my life.

This past Monday we drove a very long time, as we drove I found myself rambling about her favorite colors, foods, toys, things to do. It was so painful. We got them settled in there new place. I hugged Kim tight and told her how proud I was of her for all that she has done and all that she was going to do. I picked up my blue eyed, blonde hair, fun, full of life daughter and held her so tight. I kissed her little cheeks and told her how much I loved her. At that point I lost it. I did not want to put her down. My flesh wanted to run with her. But my heart new that this was the right thing. And the Lord will honor and bless it. I set her down….and had to walk away….I felt like I walked miles to my car (it was only like 30 feet). As tears flowed down my face, all I could think was I know the Lord loves me so much and his plans are better than mine. He never said they would be easy. I am learning to rest in that.

So today is Wed. It has only been 2 days. Our house is so different. My youngest keeps asking me to go wake her up from a nap. Or go get her. I am finding her stuff all over the house and I will have to eventually pack it up. I am not ready to do that yet. This weekend when Tony has off we might do that. We have one less car seat. One less person at the table. One less everything. Wondering about every hour how she is doing. Is she hungry. Is she hot or cold. Like I said this road is not easy. We are healing. We spent more time with her then her birth mom ever did. For us, it is like a death. But then again, I have peace because I know she is in a safe place with her mom. It is weird.

We will continue to support them as they get on there feet there. And we will be in contact with them as well. They have adopted us as there family, since they have none. Again, the Lord is teaching me to love even though it hurts sometimes. Kim really wants to stay part of our family and we have told her that we would love for her to be part of our family. So in a year we will see them again, but until then we will just communicate via mail and phone calls in order for Krystina to really bond to her mom

We are transitioning into a new normal. New routine. And we appreciate the prayers as we learn to live with one less baby in the house.

Our family has been under a rollercoaster! I have not been able to post. But I am going to tomorrow. It will be long. So stay tuned, for some BIG updates on our family!