9 days and counting…

till me and my hunk of love head out on our trip. I am so excited. I am so excited to board the plane without 5 kids + all there luggage too! Can you even imagine us all trying to fly out there…all 7 of us. Gives me a headache thinking about it! I have soooo much to do before we leave. Pack, Clean, Get ready for Chandler’s Graduation, Get all my stuff done in my classroom at school, Wash the dog before my mom comes, Mow the yard, Finish buying the stuff for Kaitlyn and my oldest birthday parties for when we come home, VBS stuff, and my list could go on. Are you tired too…thinking about all that STUFF! That is what it all is…..STUFF. I am REALLy, REALLY trying to get more organized. I used to be SOOO organized. BEFORE I HAD KIDS! I am serious….very organized. I feel frustrated because I am not so much of an organizer now. Or maybe I am and I am just slacking because I am tired.

So I have really been praying about some things. Me and Tony both have. And I have also been asking the Lord to make me more of a disciplined person. And He is…just not in the way I wanted him to make me more disciplined. Imagine that. He has given us some clear direction on some issues that we have been praying about. I was talking with Tony tonight about my struggles with some of the decisions. Not struggles, but maybe more frustration. And he just looked at me when we were done talking, and then it was like everything I had just spoken was replayed in my mind. And it was ALL ABOUT ME! What Heidi wants, needs, and feels regarding this issue. I know you must be dieing to know what it is, but I cant share it yet. It was not about what God wanted me to do and how he was going to grow me, and how yes I would be sacrificing again and basically dieing to myself, it wasn’t about how He was going to work it all out. Isn’t that what we are supposed to do…die to ourself, so that He can use us and grow us and make us more like HIM. SOMETIMES…it is hard for me to do. I am just being honest. I read on this other ladies blog (who has 5 kids) about all this stuff….stuff that I want to be like….she makes it seem so E.A.S.Y! So here I am growing…being stretched to the limit…not liking every moment…but knowing that God has his hand on my life. Knowing in “my knower” that He sees where I will be a 6 months and year from now, He sees what I need for each season of my life, He knows what is best for me…I just have to submit to that. Sometimes submitting to whatever it is that God wants is hard. I wish it were always easy. Sometimes for me it is not always easy. But I am growing…

Isaiah 26:3
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.

So now it is 11:46PM and hour and 46 minutes past the time I said I would go to bed. So off to bed I go.