Overwhelmed…

That would be a good word for how I am feeling at the current moment. I am overwhelmed for many many reasons. Thank God I am taking my supplements and my levels for the adrenal stuff are okay, other wise I think I would be in BIG trouble.

Anyways, the adoption. Oh the adoption. Can I tell you, I never could have thought in my wildest dreams that something would be so complicated. The fathers of this beautiful child. Are dangerous and REALLY bad news. In order to protect all parties involved, I am not going to write about it any further. As of today due to really complicated things, the adoption is off. She is not up for adoption.

I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster that keeps going round and round. Just when I thought I was going to get off someone hit the button and sent us spinning again.

We would love for the adoptive family to be able to adopt her. We care for them deeply. I mean, we really really do. They were the family for baby. And we are heartbroken tonight that they will not have the opportunity to adopt her. It is not like the first family, we just knew it was wrong. This family was the one.

Can I tell you SIN really messes things up. God has given us a manual for how we are to live, and we should, because when we dont we fall into the bondage of so much and sometimes when people get so stuck in it, it takes a long time to dig themselves out. I know my God is so big. I know he has a plan for the mom and baby. At this point in this journey, I have NO idea what that entails. It could be anything. We are planning on just enjoying our holiday season coming up. Enjoying the kids. Getting our family back in order. I am excited to have that normalcy back. I am excited to not have to think about this adoption. It will be the first time in MONTHS!!! I am excited to just love on all 5. Put up our Christmas tree. Hang the lights outside. Rake leaves. We love to rack leaves, the kids think it is the best. Especially when you can play in them. Watch late night movies with my honey. Sit by the fire. Just hang and be normal.

I have taken there “real” names off all my posts. We just have to protect ourselves. I am trying to think of some fake names to call them. Any suggestions??? I will most likely be changing my phone number as well. We will let everyone that has it now….have the new one…if you want it! Okay well it is a night for me. I am needing a good night sleep. Tomorrow we are going to a big Advocare Event. Hey at least we will be without kids. That is a considered a date to me.